This season has been busy yet slow, filled with friends yet lonely, fulfilling yet I still feel unfulfilled.
It's really been strange, and honestly I don't think I could even process it while going through it. Have you had times like that? that you're just sort of gliding through life and all of a sudden you look back and you're like hey, wait a minute where'd all that time, money, energy, summer... go? ya, it's been like that.
Recently, another couple we're friends with lost their baby. Gosh, I have cried for others before. Like I'm sad when people die, or when you have a hard time I really am saddened for you. But I really wept for them, it was just still so fresh for us that my heart physically hurt for her. I know they had been trying, and trusting God for his perfect timing. And when you are truly trusting like I believe they are, idk but it's just so so hard to lose that baby. Lose what you had imagined. Lose all those dreams and hopes and goals you had for that little one. We have to keep in mind God's ways are higher than ours, He is ALL knowing. He knows the beginning the middle and the end! We get to view this glimpse, but theres just no way to understand his ways. That's ok too. Thankfully we have a loving Father in heaven and our babies never have to know the hurt of this world, their first sight was Jesus! How precious is that, and sometimes when this life feels like forever we just have to remind ourselves we will see our babies again after we meet Jesus and we will get to spend eternity with them :)
I was so thankful to be able to talk to her, and hopefully comfort her in a tiny way. People around me who were real with me, and honest, and open. they really helped me, I'm glad I could do what others did for me, for her.
I think we have taken this time to mourn Penny and figure out how to be happy again. It sounds silly maybe, but it takes some readjusting. We've taken this time to see how to miss her, but to still live. We haven't got it all figured out yet, but it does get better. Just like I was sharing with my friend it feels so final sometimes, like you cannot see the end of this hurting. But then it gets better, it really does. I am so ready for Fall to be here! One, it's my favorite season but I'm ready for the change of pace. I think it renewing to me for the earth to also be changing as I feel like I'm changing. I'm ready to settle into the new norms and all that comes with fall :)
It's really been strange, and honestly I don't think I could even process it while going through it. Have you had times like that? that you're just sort of gliding through life and all of a sudden you look back and you're like hey, wait a minute where'd all that time, money, energy, summer... go? ya, it's been like that.
Recently, another couple we're friends with lost their baby. Gosh, I have cried for others before. Like I'm sad when people die, or when you have a hard time I really am saddened for you. But I really wept for them, it was just still so fresh for us that my heart physically hurt for her. I know they had been trying, and trusting God for his perfect timing. And when you are truly trusting like I believe they are, idk but it's just so so hard to lose that baby. Lose what you had imagined. Lose all those dreams and hopes and goals you had for that little one. We have to keep in mind God's ways are higher than ours, He is ALL knowing. He knows the beginning the middle and the end! We get to view this glimpse, but theres just no way to understand his ways. That's ok too. Thankfully we have a loving Father in heaven and our babies never have to know the hurt of this world, their first sight was Jesus! How precious is that, and sometimes when this life feels like forever we just have to remind ourselves we will see our babies again after we meet Jesus and we will get to spend eternity with them :)
I was so thankful to be able to talk to her, and hopefully comfort her in a tiny way. People around me who were real with me, and honest, and open. they really helped me, I'm glad I could do what others did for me, for her.
I think we have taken this time to mourn Penny and figure out how to be happy again. It sounds silly maybe, but it takes some readjusting. We've taken this time to see how to miss her, but to still live. We haven't got it all figured out yet, but it does get better. Just like I was sharing with my friend it feels so final sometimes, like you cannot see the end of this hurting. But then it gets better, it really does. I am so ready for Fall to be here! One, it's my favorite season but I'm ready for the change of pace. I think it renewing to me for the earth to also be changing as I feel like I'm changing. I'm ready to settle into the new norms and all that comes with fall :)
